Doubting Thomas Sunday is Here!
Each year on the second Sunday of Easter churches that follow the Lectionary have the chance to revisit the story of Doubting Thomas. It’s nice to be mirrored the week after Easter. We are all Thomas
I met a guy last summer in Ireland with hair down to his waist, a penchant for rock n roll and theology, and a life full of understated wisdom. I asked him if he was still a Christian. He responded, “You know I’ve never been a very good believer.” I responded, “That describes all of us whether we admit it or not.”
Thomas would just like a shred of proof for all the outlandish things he is hearing his friends saying about Jesus being resurrected. He has a point. Dead people tend to stay dead. He’s simply being honest. And thank God for an honest portrayal of what belief actually looks like in the beloved community of Jesus. It’s a New Belief.
One of the most famous paintings by the Italian Baroque master Caravaggio, c. 1601-1602. Entitled The Incredulity of Saint Thomas.
A New Belief that Includes Doubt (and all manner of shortcomings)
Thomas missed it earlier in the week when Jesus had appeared to the disciples. So Jesus appears again, just for Thomas, which tells you something: He doesn’t begrudge your doubts, your questions, any of it. He didn’t judge Thomas for his doubt but offered him peace.
Doubt is not the opposite of faith. As Pete Enns likes to say “The opposite of faith is rigorous certainty.”1 Doubt is a huge component of honest faith. Jesus never invites you into certitude. Jesus never made it about ‘believing perfectly’, or doing anything else perfectly. Jesus takes you as you are with doubts and questions and all the messiness of what it means to be human.
Daniel Brereton, an Episcopal priest in Canada wrote:
“Mary Magdalene needed to hear her name spoken in order to believe. Peter needed to hear “Peace be with you” and be forgiven to believe. Thomas needed to touch the wounded places to believe. Paul needed to be knocked off his high horse to believe. God meets us where we are.”
Thomas has the courage to name the truth about himself. His vulnerability sets the table for the miracle of grace to take place in his life.
A New Belief that Includes Scars (and all manner of woundedness)
Jesus approaches Thomas, revealing his own scars, and sets an example by showing them. He essentially says, "I understand your wounds. Here are mine. I know what it feels like to be betrayed, abandoned, cursed, and crucified. Thomas, come here and touch my hands and side. Stop doubting and believe."
We wear our scars. Some we are proud of… I could show you scars from surgeries after a football or baseball injury… I could show you the 3 broken fingers and how crooked they look. Makes me feel tough and athletic to show you those. I like telling the stories behind those scars.
Not all scars have fun stories behind them, such as the ones on my face. I recall experiencing my first bout of acne in 6th grade, and by 8th grade, my entire face was covered in inflamed, cystic blemishes. On occasion, I had to have them lanced. I even had to wear baseball and football masks for over half the year during sports, despite living in Florida. It was a painful and distressing experience both physically and emotionally. Every day, I would scrutinize my face in the mirror before school. Despite undergoing various treatments, my once-clear complexion and dimpled cheeks were gone forever. It was a hellish experience during my puberty and adolescence.
Proof from my 4th-grade picture that I indeed did have dimples, pre-acne.
It was only about 7 or 8 years ago when a drunk patron of a bar I was in taunted me about my facial scars. A guy shouted ‘Hey were you a boxer in a previous life?’ I didn’t get it at first. Then it dawned on me. So in Christian Love, I walked over and knocked him off his stool. KIDDING. I just stood up and left. I hadn’t felt that way since probably Jr. or Sr. High School. And my whole body felt it. And I was surprised by how deeply it hit me.
Scars, either you hearing me talk about mine, or you contemplating yours, runs deep. It runs straight to shame. Which told me that my body, my face, was no longer acceptable or worthy of the kind of respect and love that others with a clear complexion had. After 32 years of pastoral work, I have heard countless stories of people burdened by shame in their bodies and the long-lasting effects it has had on them. I know this is universal. How much this shame steals, has stolen, the joy of living for us!
But shame for what exactly? Scars serve as evidence that you have experienced a genuine, authentic life, one that results in scars, stretch marks, emotional reactions, nightmares, happiness, redemption, ecstasy, and beauty! While we are told our bodies are not permitted to look as though we have lived every day since our birth, we in fact have! We are walking embodiments of our unique narrative, and the scars that accompany it are not optional. However, the shame attached to them is.
Broderick Greer, a young brilliant priest in Denver writes:
"Jesus authenticates his resurrection through showing his apostles the physical signs of his suffering. And that is the threat of moral authority people like Jesus pose: a firsthand experience with imperial brutality and a willingness to talk about it. “This is what happened to me” may be one of the most singularly powerful lines a person can utter."2
Jesus asks us with his scars to hear his statement, and every victim's statement of “This is what happened to me”.
Jesus' resurrection body still bore his scars, which allowed Thomas and others to recognize him. His body wasn't magically transformed into a ripped, smooth-skinned savior. By appearing with his scars, Jesus demonstrated that he had no shame about his body. He didn't try to cover or conceal his marks in any way.
We should not be surprised by this since Jesus never demonstrated any fear or shame about the human body in his life, no matter how he came across it. He never shrank back from diseased or distorted bodies, instead, he purposely reached out to touch lepers, corpses, blind individuals, and those with disabilities. Jesus was decidedly “pro-body”.
Our scars serve as identifiers for who we are. We can only truly understand and be understood by others when we reveal our scars. When someone confides in me about their losses, scars, failures, and shortcomings, I feel a sense of connection with them, and it makes me feel less alone in the world. What about you?
The celebrated theologian and winner of 29 Grammys, Beyonce, says
“Show me your scars and I won’t walk away”. 3
She wrote those words in the throes of a therapeutic process with her husband who had been unfaithful.
It seems that QueenB (as my children affectionately refer to her) is communicating that she can only maintain this relationship if she is in a partnership with someone who is willing to open up about the emotional pain that led to the destructive behavior. As my therapist likes to say “Behavior has meaning.” Without this kind of vulnerability and understanding, the relationship cannot be repaired, she cannot rebuild trust, and she will be forced to end it.
Whenever our woundedness, our failures, and our losses, are seen in an environment of love, trust, and what we call in spiritual direction “unconditional regard” for another, healing takes place.
Nadia Bolz-Weber says:
“Our scars are part of our story, but they are not its conclusion. The past is ours and will always be a part of us, and yet it is not all there is. It’s a process, moving from wounds to scars to grief to showing those scars. It takes time, and maybe therapy, and maybe being vulnerable in community, and maybe working through the twelve steps, and maybe making a lot of mistakes, and maybe experiencing a tiny bit of joy.”4
These bodies of ours are a holy mix of earth and the breath of God. We also believe that human bodies are so spiritually rich that even God wanted to have one! A body that would, like you, like me, add on many scars.
Our scars are a part of our story, but they do not have to be the final word. The scars on Jesus’ body show us that they can lead to new life, just like every wound, misstep, and mistake in our lives can.
Hear Jesus today speaking peace to you and calling you into an authentic conversation bringing all of your stories, …and perhaps editing QueenB (and only Jesus gets to edit Queen B):
“Show me your scars, I’m here to share mine with you and I will never walk away.” Amen.
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https://onbeing.org/blog/broderick-greer-frail-bodies-are-a-witness-to-resilience-and-resurrection/
Sandcastles, by Beyonce
Nadia Bolz-Weber, Shameless: A Sexual Revolution. I’ve heard Nadia talk about scars in many sermons, essays, and this book. I hardly think my reflections here haven’t been deeply influenced by her brilliant insights.